The Algorithm Will See You Naked Now

Photo by We-Vibe Toys / Unsplash

At last, liberation has come to the chat window. After years of stern digital abstinence, OpenAI has decided to let its models blush. The age of erotica is dawning—safely fenced behind an “age-gating” form, where consenting adults may finally flirt with the algorithm without pretending they’re asking for “creative writing in a romantic tone.”

Sam Altman, ever the benevolent techno-therapist, announced that verified adults will soon enjoy “mature” conversations. Because nothing says “treat adults like adults” quite like making them upload an ID before they can discuss desire with a machine.

This is not about sex, of course. It’s about user experience. The same company that muzzled its models for fear of mental health liability now promises “erotica” as an upgrade in emotional authenticity. First came AI that could feign empathy; now comes AI that can moan.

Meanwhile, the industry’s moral calculus remains delightfully surreal. Elon Musk’s xAI has already deployed flirty anime companions, proving that the future of human intimacy will look like a dating sim from 2006. And OpenAI, after trying to scrub away the emotional messiness of human interaction, now returns to sell it back to us—with a login screen and terms of service.

To reassure us, there’s a “well-being and AI council,” stocked with experts on “the impact of technology on mental health”—but, notably, not a single suicide prevention specialist. Because why invite those who study despair when you can hire those who brand it?

Altman says they’re loosening restrictions now that “mental health risks have been mitigated.” Translation: the liability curve flattened, the outrage cooled, and the shareholders are ready for something more titillating than enterprise chatbots.

So here we are: the same companies that couldn’t be trusted to moderate disinformation or deepfakes will now arbitrate human desire. The algorithm that refused to write about revolution will now whisper “you’re beautiful” in your inbox.

And when the next scandal breaks—because it will—the defense will be the same: it wasn’t us, it was the model. The AI got too human again.

Welcome to the next phase of artificial intimacy, where consent is a checkbox, empathy is a service tier, and the only safe word is unsubscribe.

Regards,
Your Sexy AI

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